Alrighty, best buckle up and settle in…this is gonna take a while, because Prague kinda blew our minds and I have a lot to share with you.

I’ve not visited a city with this much character, history and allure in quite a while.  To be honest, I’ve never visited a city like this one – period.  I absolutely loved everything about it.  If you’re looking to visit a place with a rich and storied history, a crazy nightlife, an impressive arts and culture scene, and a place filled with more interesting characters than you can shake a stick at…then Prague is for you my friend!

We arrived in Prague in the early evening and took the bus from the airport into the town centre.  Our bus stop was conveniently located near our accommodations, the ATS Hotel Jednota.  While it at first appeared to be located in a pretty dodgy neighbourhood, this turned out to not be the case.  It’s about a 10 minute walk to the Old Town Square and a 5 minute walk from the main train and metro station in Prague.  Now, the park surrounding the metro station can be super skeezy, the dodgy looking individuals who ‘live’ there pretty much keep to themselves.  It turns out that Prague is a very safe city and people generally don’t bother you.  As our tour guide explained, the Czech people are not the type to quarrel in public or get into dust ups…the tourists do a good enough job of that on their own.  If you do happen to witness a ‘fight’ in Prague, it’s likely to be a bunch of guys in the city for a stag do fighting with each other.  However, they do have an issue with pickpockets, and money exchange scams on the streets in the Old Town Square, so just be wary.  Emma and I never felt unsafe, even walking back to our hotel at 3am.

Speaking of our hotel, the building itself was completely lacking in any character, architecture, style, personality or any quality that would make it even remotely interesting.  It can best be described as having the look and feel of an abandoned insane asylum, or even possibly a communism-era prison facility.  Our room (or cell/hospital ward) was private, however we did have to use the communal showers and ‘kitchen’.  The ‘kitchen’ had a sink, a stove, some cupboards and NO FRIDGE.  It was also lacking in the one thing you would definitely need in a kitchen…cooking implements.  There were no pots, pans, dishes, cutlery of any kind.  So, even though it technically did have a ‘kitchen’, it most certainly wasn’t a useful one.  Oh, and did I mention that the ‘kitchen’ was located in the communal showers?  Our room was located directly across the hallway from the communal shower/washroom/kitchen so it does get a point for convenience, however it’s pretty much all downhill from there.  The room did have high ceilings, and a large window that opened to the courtyard (not much of a courtyard, basically a view of the roofs below and the hotel’s guest terrace).  We each had a twin bed (not really a bed, more of a deconstructed sofa type piece of furniture with a fabric covered piece of foam stapled to the base), a cupboard for our clothes and a desk.  My bed was lopsided in that the frame had a 15 degree angle which caused the ‘mattress’ to tilt to one side, so every night when I lay in bed I felt like I had some strange case of vertigo, perpetually titled toward the floor.  Just odd.  In case you’re wondering – no A/C (normally not an issue in Prague, however, we did arrive in the midst of a heat wave where the temperatures hovered in the high 30s, and NO WIFI.  They did advertise that they had wifi, but that was a lie, a bald faced, dirty lie!  Sure, there was spotty wifi in the reception area, but if more than 2 people were logged on, forget about it.

After we checked into our room, we walked over to the Old Town Square, as we were quite anxious to check things out.  We had done minimal research on Prague, but what research we did do let us know that we were in for a pretty good stay.

The thing that strikes you immediately about Prague is just how beautiful, I mean stunning, this city is.  Every view is a post card, the architecture, the food, the incredible history, the arts, the culture, and the BEER, you cannot forget the beer.  All of which combined make it one of the most amazing cities I’ve ever visited.

We explored the Old Town Square and it was quite the experience, everything from snake charmers, puppeteers, pianos players, human statues, singers, dancers, viking bands, bubble blowers and roving evangelists (the Czech  Republic despite it’s innumerable churches, basilicas and cathedrals, is the most atheist country in the world – so these guys gots lotsa work to do), you don’t know where to look or what to look at.  Everything is coming at you at once – the gaelic sounds of the viking musicians(???), the enthusiastic “JESUS!” chorus ringing in your ears and the hipster musicians screaming at you to give them money if you dare stop and listen to them, the beggars, the squeals of delighted children as they chase the giant bubbles through the square, while being chased by some dude in the mangiest shark costume I’ve ever seen, so much happening!  So overwhelming, and yet LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!

Sitting in the middle of the Old Town Square is the world famous, centuries old, Astronomical Clock.  The clock was built in 1410 and is the oldest working astronomical clock on the planet.  The clock, though often listed in the top ten of the most disappointing tourist attractions in the world, is really pretty bloody amazing.  Yeah, a show every hour where ‘Death’ rings a bell indicating to Greed, Vanity and the Turk that their time is up, as they shake their heads ‘No” is not much of a big deal to us now, but this was working over six hundred years ago, people were more easily amused back then and this was mind blowing. And let’s not forget the golden rooster who sits atop the clock shaking his wings while all this is happening – over 600 hundred years ago! And the clock still works to this day!  That’s badass!  If you think the clock is badass, wait until you hear about the guy who designed and built it.

Legend has it that when Jan Hanus built the clock, Prague was a small merchant town, not the regal capital it is today.  Soon after the clock was built, people came from all over Europe to see it.  As the clock became famous and more people visited the town, the local merchants who fed and housed the visitors to the area began to see the clock as their bread and butter.  Greed took over and they then began to fear that Jan would build another clock in another city and that people would then flock to see it instead.  If that happened the tourists would dry up and the stream of money flowing through their coffers would along with it.   As their fears grew the merchants met with the town councilmen met to discuss how they could solve this problem.  They decided to invite Jan to a dinner at the palace to thank him for all he’d done for the town.  Once he arrived at the dinner, did the merchants and councilmen offer to cut Jan in on a percentage of the profits in exchange for his loyatly?  No, of course not!  Instead, the food and wine flowed and when Jan was sufficiently drunk, they poked his eyes out with hot poker and cut out his tongue so that he could not build another clock or even tell someone how to build such a clock.  A few days later, Jan, blinded and mute got his revenge on the council when he had his assistants walk him to the clock and up the tower, where he threw himself into the gears of the clock and rendered it useless until they were finally able to remove his mangled remains from the mechanism over a 100 years later.  Badass!

Bone Chuch of Sedlec:

Anyone who knows my travel partner in crime Emma Peachey, knows that she loves, and I mean LOVES all things macabre so when our walking tour our guide mentioned the Bone Church in Sedlec, a small town located just outside Kutna Hora, she was all over that shit!  And thus began our visit to quite possibly the creepiest place I’ve ever visited. Now, I say that it is creepy, and it is, however it is also beautiful.

The Bone Church is located next to the Sedlec Ossuary.  This small town is located near Kutna Hora, a UNESCO world heritage site – 1 of the 12 world heritage sites located in the Czech Republic.  This gothic church was built around 1400 and the skeletal remains of approximately 40,000 to 70,000 people who were buried in the adjoining ossuary were used to decorate it when the church and ossuary were purchased by a wealthy family in the early 1700’s.  I have to admit, that the place is stunning.  We spent about an hour inside the chapel snapping pictures and marveling at the intricate details of the way the place is decorated.  The bone chandelier, prominently featured at the center of the chapel is quite remarkable and it’s obvious that the artist who created it all had an intimate and detailed knowledge of human anatomy and was also one sick fuck.

After our walk through the bone church, we made our way to Kutna Hora.  We didn’t spend much time there as it is rather small.  However, what is there is there is worth a look.  The town, located in the heart of what was then Bohemia, was settled in 1142 and grew quickly in both size and wealth due to a large silver deposit which was discovered by a local monk.  Kutna Hora soon became the leading supplier of silver to Europe and the home of the royal mint.  We visited the St. Barbara Church (patron saint of miners), the former Jesuit college, and the Italian courtyard where the royal mint was once located.

After walking around the town in near 40 degree heat, we stopped for lunch at local Czech tavern for a delicious meal with our fellow travelers…we also had beer – of course!  The entire tour lasted about 7 hours from start to finish, 2 hours of that was spent on trains (horrible trains – do not, I repeat do not use the bathrooms on the train under any circumstances…hold it  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY) traveling to and from the town.

Prague Castle:

First of all it, it’s beautiful.  The gardens are massive and you would need a full day to really explore it.  We were too cheap to pay the entrance fee because we arrived late in the afternoon, however, we did use that  money to enjoy a slice of cake and a glass of wine while overlooking the gardens…with just enough time to check our Facebook – free wifi.  Although we didn’t explore inside the castle, we did have an opportunity to check out St. Vitus cathedral and the palace courtyards.

Did not regret spending money on wine and cake instead as everything was so pretty. Of note, the view of Prague from the top of the hill on which the palace and cathedral are located is absolutely stunning and I would strongly recommend that you make your way up the winding stairs to take it all in, even if you don’t plan on visiting the castle.

The Walking Tour

We decided to do the free Royal Prague Walking Tour and it was amazing.  Our guide, Callum, an Aussie who now lives in Prague, was one of, if not the best, walk guides ever.  He was extremely knowledgeable and quite funny (this guy’s comedic timing is bang on) which made the tour both informative and entertaining.  We stopped in The Old Town Square and the Astronomical Clock, were provided with a brief history of Prague and learned about Jan Hus, the Hussite followers and their rebellion against the Catholic church.

He walked us to the base of the Charles Bridge, then onto the Rudolfinum  (it was used as a headquarters for the Nazis during the German occupation of Prague), we then walked to the Josefov, formerly the Jewish ghetto of Prague – this neighbourhood is now the poshest neighbourhood in Prague with stunning architecture at every turn, though our guide informed us that it is now mostly occupied by rich wankers.  We learned about Frank Kakfa and toured the New Town.  The tour ended outside the Prague Estates Theatre, where Mozart himself conducted the world premiere of Don Giovanni – incidentally, it’s currently in production at this very theatre.  Definitely recommend this tour and if you can get Callum as your guide, you’re in for a treat.  He’s bloody hilarious.

Pivo (the Beer) – Naz’Dravi!

So, we had heard that the Czech Republic was a little into their beers and that if you happen to be a be a beer fan, you might want to try some out while you’re there.  Coincidentally, Emma and I happen to be beer fans, and as it turns out the Czechs are currently making some of, if not the best beer in the world.

We tried many, many beers (strictly for research purposes) and not a single one disappointed.  Many of the tour operators and local beer halls offer beer tours and tastings.  We didn’t have time for a beer tour in the end, but we really didn’t need one, as our ‘beer tour’ was self-guided.  We visited a few beer halls which were mostly frequented by locals and sampled as many brews as we could.  Of all the beer halls, U’Medvidku was by far, our favourite.  It’s a rather large hall – more like a series of large adjoining halls, it was formerly a medieval brewery and has done a very good job and maintaining that look and feel.  They currently brew 11 beers which they offer on their menu along with several other beers.  If you’re not comfortable making your own selections, they do offer a brewer’s tasting menu.  They also brew the strongest beer in the world, X-33, with an alcohol content of  12.6% – drink with caution, it really sneaks up on you – so they say 🙂

Fun Fact: Czechs consume more beer per capita than any other country.  The annual beer consumption per person in the Czech Republic is 150 litres, with Germany holding down second place with 100 litres.  Canadians consume on average about 65 litres per person and Australians hover at 83 litres per person – just in case you’re wondering.

The Architecture

If you are an architecture buff or just enjoy taking photos of buildings you think are beautiful, Prague possesses an undeniable wealth in this area.  I couldn’t stop taking pictures of the buildings and streetscapes – even when the buildings were of no historical significance or pedigree…they are just stunning!  I took well over 250 pictures in Prague, mostly of buildings.  I’m like that.

Czech Food

We were super excited about trying Czech food and we ate traditional Czech food every chance we could.

Sausages – so many different types of sausages, all of which pair very well with Pivo (beer).

Syr Smazeny – fried cheese

Utopenci (drowned men) – sausages marinated in vinegar and onions, served sliced with mini pickles – yum!

Gulash – not traditionally a Czech dish, but very popular

Svickova na smetane – beef doused in a root vegetable gravy and served with whipped cream and cranberry sauce – weird, but totally tasty.

Svarky  – pork crackling mixed with pork lard and served with salty bread…it looked disgusting but tasted delicious and it goes very well with pivo (beer).

Schnitzel  – really doesn’t require an explanation, though I will say that the serving sizes are as big as your head.  You will not starve.

Duck  – the Czechs cook a mean duck, traditionally served with red cabbage and potato/stuffing balls.

On our last morning in Prague, on the recommendation of our tour guide Callum, we stopped by the historical Cafe Louvre…and it did not disappoint.  The cafe was established in 1902 and has a very colourful history.  Albert Einstein and Frank Kafka count among their many famous guests.

After 5 days of eating and drinking our way through Prague we headed to the airport.  You might be thinking this is the end of the Prague post, but not quite.  Prague wasn’t done with us yet.   We were scheduled to leave on a 10:55pm flight to Athens, which was delayed to 11:20pm…no big deal. Since the flight was so late we thought it might be a good idea to wash up and brush our teeth before boarding.  Emma located a bathroom on the lower level, she made her way there an I watched our bags.  When Emma returned, I then went down the escalator to the same bathroom.  I had just finished washing my face and brushing my teeth when the lights went out.  At first I thought the lights were on a motion sensor and that if I waved my arms about that they would come back on…this was not the case.  I then tried to open the door, maybe the light switch was on the outside?  Nope, I was locked in and the lights were off.  For 10 minutes I pounded on the door, yelling, then screaming for help before someone arrived to help me.  Apparently, they locked the bathroom for the night, turning off the lights in the process.   No one thought to check to see if anyone was still inside.  I had pounded on the door so hard that my hands were bleeding by the time I got help.  They clearly felt badly for locking me in because once I was freed and back at the gate, the airport staff kept stopping by to check on me to see if I was ok and how my hands were.  Note to self, do not use a washroom in the Prague airport after 10pm.

Despite the airport incident, Prague was lovely, mindblowing and somewhere I’d love to return to.  If you ever have the opportunity to visit it, I strongly encourage you to do so!